I grabbed a pen
for it to turn to lead
pressing down into my hand
my fingers numb with the weight
All I want is to write
get these pictures in my head
onto a page as beautiful words
convincing passages
acceptable lies
needed truths
I grabbed a pen only for it to turn to lead
too heavy to lift
again, I'll get no writing done...
Lead Pen
Writer's Life Collection
Has someone repeated your name
just to get a taste for it?
to devour it over and over,
find every flavor hidden in the sound,
until you fit their pallet?
Until your name became the craving
that drove them mad?
Have you watched someone taste your name
and wanted more?
Tasting a Name
Lovesick Collection
You're like the tide
incessantly crashing on the shore,
in a moment of insanity.
hoping with each movement,
you're either washed up on the sand
or lulled into the depths of the ocean.
You ask for that cold embrace like it'll return
you to the land of the living
Tide of the Mind
Depression Collection
I woke with the sun,
but it was not from sleep
That I escaped.
I woke with the summer sky,
but it was not from a broken heart
that I arose.
I woke from a clouded mind,
As depression fell into slumber,
realization rang clear.
I was free of the chains
from the me that surfaces when I blink
Today, I can exist happily
I Awoke
Depression Collection
All I feel is despair
as it turns to ash on my tongue.
Every dream, every hope
held in a noose of spider silk.
Words get stuck in my throat
before they can manifest
their value deemed useless.
Ineffective, unnecessary, uncalled for.
And I am nothing more than
an unsaid conversation
held together by sparkling thread.
Silk
Depression Collection
Love is not a light emotion
It's heavy and dark
with nigh-time florals
and aether musk
Raindrops and stardust.
It reminds you that there's more
more to life
more to the mundane
more to beauty.
Love is not a light emotion.
It's not the winter sun
Not the empty moon
Nor is it a tickling breeze
of a springtime air.
It's heavy
In the way joy makes you burst at the seams
It's heavy
In the way it pulls you to and fro like the tide
It's heavy
In the way it poisons you against reason
Love is not a light emotion
So do not take it with a light grip.
Do not accept it from a light mind,
hold it with heavy hands
and love with a heavy heart.
Love Scent
Lovesick Collection
Your love is so quiet
that I often can't hear.
So quiet that I can't feel
the whisper on my neck.
I'm unable to notice the
soft touches of affection.
I need you to be louder
for I don't speak silence.
Quiet
Lovesick Collection
Writers block born of depression.
Original inspiration holds not interest
Death of a muse makes it harder
to lose oneself in the music
pages pile up in your head
by feeling alone
but the words don't come
Can't focus on a paragraph
can't focus on a scene
can't
Focus
Blocks
Writer's Life Collection
Silent stars twinkle against absence
Filling voids they've lost inside themselves.
Eyes bore them down, fearful of existence.
Little tendrils drag them close, begging for their power.
Every selfish crave pressed upon them, devouring their purpose.
Until there was nothing left but traces of glittering dust.
In mourning, some flee the chaos of wishes.
Only to find their plummeting husk hold more value.
And so the children snuff themselves out.
Hiding in the nothingness of the humanity that sought them
Constellations nothing more than words of amusement.
They will only return for the selfless
And you my dear, aren't
Falling Star
Miscellaneous Collection
I flirt with suicide
like I haven't had a hundred lovers
Lean into its embrace to tease,
only to step away with scars on my skin
Scars on my mind
An intimate dance
An intimate quarrel
Screaming on the edge
Trying to escape the pounding my head
The thrum in my veins,
that looks for any opening
begs for me to let it see the moonlight
I shouldn't court suicide.
Worst Flirt
Depression Collection
My soul wears
a psychotic smile
so be careful when you
look into my eyes
The mercury tears
aren't to hid it
because the madness
over
f
l
o
w
s
Mercury Tears
Depression Collection
I came running to you
with ice in my veins
fire on my skin
I forgot how to breathe
as you watched me succumb to the pain.
No Help
Depression Collection
Is it really that hard to look at me?
Are you incapable of speaking to me?
Of my creations
of my ideas
of my dreams
I want your feedback
I want your praise
I want your criticism
Your realism...
I'm tired of wading through placations
I'm tired of drowning in a sea of silence
I'm tired of burning in rejcetions
Validations
Writer's Life Collection
What does it mean to want to be somewhere?
What does it mean when you look at your dreams
and you just...
wonder why...
wonder what then?
Why dream at all, what will you gain?
It's not a question of if or when you'll gain it
when you'll make it
But...
then what?
Why did you want it in the first place?
Aside from money, aside from fame, aside from prestige
What do you get for yourself?
Intrinsically?
How long does satisfaction last?
And is it worth it?
What Do Dreams Mean?
Writer's Life Collection
If you keep giving me time
your absence will no longer
cause me sadness.
But in doing so
you'll stop bringing me joy.
Warning or Reminder
I'll be Alright
Depression Collection
Does my name resonate in your head?
Do you daydream of us?
Do you get so consumed with adoration that you feel like a wave trapped in a human body?
When I call your name, my voice full of affection, does it make you smile?
Do you love me in the ways I love you?
Do You Love Me Like I love You?
Lovesick Collection
There are blissful days in which I forget
Forget how much self hatred is contained in this heart of mine.
Days I Forget
Depression Collection
Fractured light filters
through cresting waves.
Stars fall in open waters
as salt torn throats sing.
Laments that infuse your soul
with deafening cold
a yearning for life so pure,
you offer yours in retribution.
Odes to those left behind on shore
for they were forced to watery grave
Melodies that ripple across miles,
turning to sung whispers
Echoes that sink rather than skip
until all is asunder
Siren
Majikly Inhuman Collection
I have fallen into the abyss,
so deep I could no longer see.
but I always find myself
back on the edge,
facing the other way.
I have tripped into my thoughts
so violently I come away
with scraped knees,
the flesh of my palms
broken and bleeding.
but my blood runs black
because I stared for too long
Abyss
Depression Collection
Her lips were stained
with the blood of roses
velvet sapphire eyes
poured out oceans
A creature of the earth
trapped and bound in the city scape
Man made stars devour the soul
Of majik born entities
lost in the throws of society
Death of Majik
Majikly Inhuman Collection
My greatest weakness is a song.
A siren mistress
in thrall with the bass
the beat in my very chest.
I melt away until I'm nothing but
the melody
swaying to the rhythm
breathing in each instrument
until there's nothing left
but music
Music
Miscellaneous Collection
I travers the loom of life
with an unanchored thread.
So with each decision
I watch my tapestry unravel.
Thread
Depression Collection
A creature born into mortal flesh,
soul older than written word,
tied to her earthly prison
with no control
This life the pentacle of her past selves
and they all meld together
At summer end with oldest star
war upon us near and far
secrets awaken
lives will be taken
human and fae
majik be as it may
Fae Side
Majikly Inhuman Collection
The streets are flooded
with the rosé of the setting sun
And I'm drunk on thoughts
of suicide
Lost Thoughts
Depression Collection
White out room, void of the safe darkness.
Black simple dress,
comforting in its coolness.
Red vibrant string,
made from fates energy
and the blood of its owner.
She bent over a knot, tears falling, knowing she'll never find them.
Red String
Depression Collection
I fell in love with you.
The way the leaves fall in autumn.
The way the ocean reaches
for the shore every day.
The way the night and day
chase each other.
Consistently
Constantly
Passionately
The Way I Fell In Love
Lovesick Collection
I write because I can't contain myself.
Because I can't remember.
I write to not feel so strongly
To not feel so alone.
I write for myself, to prove I can.
For myself so I can escape.
I write for you, so you can
hear the words I can't say.
So you can tell when I'm not ok.
I write because I can't see myself doing anything else
Why I Write
Writer's Life Collection
Giving up on love was never my intent.
To turn my back on so much wasted time.
Wasted in the sense that I could have loved you differently.
Could have loved you better.
To forget you is out of the question
so I'll go on loving you as a friend
Loving You Differently
Lovesick Collection
His shadow gleamed behind him
seeing hers so small
In comparison her was dim
but her healthy façade would let them fall
While they were happy with smiles
Their shadows entered
a dangerous courtship
She sent her love across miles and miles
Her little shadow ready